We really don’t know how to tell you this, but we’ve been getting some really weird vibes from your sofa lately. Yeah, that hand-me-down in your living room that you’ve had since college that's missing one of the back cushions. The one with the hump in the middle of the seat cushions and the stain on the upholstery that just keeps on... growing? The one so faded you can’t tell what color it originally was (or even if it had color, or texture, or shape at all), and frankly, belongs back in the 18th century, or whenever you bought it. Whenever we walk into the room, it goes on and on about your drab taste and how you’re too lazy to just buy a different sofa online. It’s speaking English, and it's, like, really aggressive. We all think you need to kick it out of the house. Now.
Of course, we don’t care about what your sofa says. We already know you have impeccable taste. We don’t think it’s ok to let this piece of furniture walk all over you, and some throw pillows and a slipcover aren't going to cover it. What if new people come over? What if they get the wrong idea? What if you want to impress someone? What if...
No, no, no... NO. You deserve better. Get outta here, shit-talking sofa. Forever.
WAIT. We need you to know that there are other options of sofa style out there. We already interviewed a couple of our favorite personalized furniture pieces in different styles and, needless to say, they love you. They only have nice things to say, and they're MUCH better than that old futon. These types of sofas want to move in to the family room right away, they'll fit right into your floor plan, and they'll never tell your father what a disappointment you are. Here’s what your new style of sofa will tell everyone walking into your home:
“They’re a good time. They’re not afraid of paving their own way in a modern style and trying new things when everyone else is too scared to, and they're totally willing to get comfy too, and we're not talking about daybeds.”
“They’re the most stylish person I know. They don’t follow the trends. They set them. And this modern sofa with remarkably straight lines agrees.”
“They’re an intellectual. All those books on the coffee table? They’ve actually read them all, AND enjoyed them. Get this person a podcast now because everything they say is gold. Just check out that modern design exposed wood.”
“They don’t play by anyone else’s rules. They make the rules. You really should follow them and their whole retro vibe. This is no flimsy Victorian chaise lounge. Armrests, who?
“They’re practical yet inventive. They appreciate that mid-century classic sofa style and clean lines but like to put their own twist on things. They’re creative but know a good thing (and good sofa design) when they see it.”
Connect with any? Want a sofa that says something else? Want to just play the field awhile? We totally understand. Go ahead and check out whomhome.com. They’ve got you covered on different styles of sofa.
Please don't hate us,