What your furniture says behind your back


We really don’t know how to tell you this, but we’ve been hearing some really weird things from your sofa lately. Yeah, that hand-me-down you’ve had since college. The one with the stain that just keeps on... growing? The one so faded you can’t tell what color it originally was (or even if it had color, or texture, or shape at all). Whenever we walk into the room, it goes on and on about your drab taste and how you’re too lazy to just buy a new sofa online. It’s, like, really aggressive. We all think you need to kick it out of the house. Now. 

Of course, we don’t care about what your sofa says. We already know you have impeccable taste. We don’t think it’s ok to let this sofa walk all over you. What if new people come over? What if they get the wrong idea? What if you want to impress someone? What if...  

No, no, no... NO. You deserve better. Get outta here, shit-talking sofa. Forever.  

WAIT. We need you to know that there are other options out there. We already interviewed a couple of our favorite personalized furniture pieces and, needless to say, they love you. They only have nice things to say. They want to move in right away, and they'll never tell your father what a disappointment you are. Here’s what they’ll tell everyone walking into your home: 

The Activist

“They’re a good time. They’re not afraid of paving their own way and trying new things when everyone else is too scared to.”


The Influencer

“They’re the most stylish person I know. They don’t follow the trends. They set them.”


The Philosopher

“They’re an intellectual. All those books on the table? They’ve actually read them all, AND enjoyed them. Get this person a podcast now because everything they say is gold.”


The Rebel

“They don’t play by anyone else’s rules. They make the rules. You really should follow them.”


The Tastemaker

“They’re practical yet inventive. They appreciate classic styles but like to put their own twist on things. They’re creative but know a good thing when they see it.”

Connect with any? Want a sofa that says something else? Want to just play the field awhile? We totally understand. Go ahead and check out whomhome.com. They’ve got you covered.


Please don't hate us, 

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